Jokes Collection

Bill Gates Jokes
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If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit;
these could be the caption in Newspapers:
* Bill goes Dhak-Dhak!
* English Babu Desi Mem.
* Brain marries Beauty!?
* Windows ke peechhe kya hai? Windows ke peechhe....!? Ooo Windows mein Bill hai meraThe *next version of Windows will be "Windows MD."* Microsoft Mouse V/S Madhuri - the cat.* *Relax guys! they'll only go for a virtual honeymoon.
* Bill to count his millions & billions in EK, DO, TEEN..
* Gate for Bill, Windows for M.F.Hussain* Mera Bill ghar aaya O Hussainji, Mera...
* Mera bill bhee kitna pagal hai...* Bill Will, Gates Wates... Main kya jaanu re... !



Laloo Jokes
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* Laloo Prasad was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very ineficient," he stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"

* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ? La loo
* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
* Laloos family planning policy.."Don't have more than two children in one year"
* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"
* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"
* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?" "Marriage"
* Laloo returns from a US tour. As he completes his press conference and is about to leave, he goes, "I would like to thank the president of the United States from the bottom of my heart and my wife's bottom too"/

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Sardar Jokes
Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering twobeers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their sandwiches.
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Sardarji standing below a tube light with a openmouth.........WHY?Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner shouldbe light".
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Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. Hewas not sure asto what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".After much thought hewrote : Yes!

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One Person knock the door of Banta on 12 th floor,Banta open the doorthe man was crying and said - Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed,Sardar jumps from 12th floor. At 8th floor heremembers I don't have adaughter!At 5th floor he remembered I'm unmarried! At 3rd floorremembered I'mBanta not Santa

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A teacher told all students in a class to write anessay on a cricketmatch. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. Hewrote "DUE TO RAIN,NO MATCH!"
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Postman:- I have to come 5 miles to deliver you thispacket.Sardar:- why did u come so far? Instead u could haveposted it....
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What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?He will compare it with the original for any spellingmistakes.
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Sardar proposed a girl......Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elderto you'. Sardarsaid: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you nextyear.
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Why can't sardars dial nine-eleven (911) at emergency?Becoz, theycan'tfind the eleven on the phone.
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A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.Judge asked:How'll you divide, you've 3 children? Sardar replied:Ok! We"ll applynext year.
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A man asked Sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walkingat evening not inthe morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan isPM not AM''.
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Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with hiseyes closed. Hiswife asked: what you are doing? He said: I want to seehow i look whilesleeping.
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A sardar was very fond of sensational and detectivenovels,but he always started reading from the middle. A friend of his askedwhy he did so? "It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar."to start fromthe middle keeps one curious not only about itsconclusion but alsoabout its beginning.