Hi
This is the composition done by me , during my final year college days……
Just waana share with you ..
Hope you will enjoy……
Mera college Mahan
Yaha se vaha tak more the CHEEN or JAPAN
Jab Jab mai college main Aau
What a Seen ! Mai kho jau
Par dar hai mujhe ke lecture sunke kahi main so na jau
Library se mera atut hai nata
Books return karne main ,Mai kabhi na hichkichata
Mera din aayega sochke ,Mai mujhehi samzata
Par vo din na aaya ,Xerox padke semester bitaya
Jab main college main paheli bar aaya
Admission receipt dekhke maan main muskaya
Swimming pool main terne ka sapna sajaya
Jim jake health banegi, industrial training karke wealth bhi milegi
Par ek hi din main sapna tut ke bikher gaya
Internet disconnect hoker main dekhte hi raha gaya
Hameshasehi ye hotehi Aaaya hai
Ek sath practicals or lectures ka boz banaya
Pal pal tension ka pulse bad gaya
Jab Demo dene ka din karib aaya
Kabhi internals,Kakhi externals
And Rattafication in Pl’s
Karte karte abhi preparing for Finals
Par Yaad aayega Jarur
Lab main madhosh karne wala AC
Aur dil ko rahat pauchane wala , iklouta printer wala PC
Par thanks a lot to this college
Jisne padhaya hame engineering ka ABC
Chahe koi kare bat aisi vaisi
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Poem for Software People
Hi...
Software Logo..
Krupaya thodi der ke liye kavita ka anand uthay...
Code Kya Kehta Hai Mera Kya Main Bataoon
Tester Samjhega Shayad Main Pagal Hoon
Code Kya Kehta Hai Mera Kya Main Bataoon
PM samjhega ki Shayad Main genius Hoon
Dil Karta Hai Apni Seat par khada ho Jaoon
Chilla Chilla Ke Main Ye Sabse Kehdoon
Code On… Hai Ye Client Ka Ishaara
Code On… Requirement fullfill kar sara
Code On….Onsite Offshore ka tamashaa
Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Dil Karta Hai VNET Par Zor Se Gaoon
Aur Apne outlook Ki sab log mail Kholen
Phir Main Aise Josheelay mails bahaaoon
Mere mails Ko padkar Sab Ye samjhen
Code On… Hai Ye Company Ka Ishaara
Code On… Client ko khush karna hai yaaraa
Code On….Late night ruk ja tu
Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Jaise Code karne Ko Dil Chahe code kar Waise Tu
Meri To Hai Bas Ye Raaye Ki
Apne task ko time par Poora Karle Tuuuuuu
Code On… development cycle ka ishara
Code On… phases fullfill kar sara
Code On….dead lines meet karne ka tension
Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Code On… Hai Ye Company Ka Ishaara
Code On… Client ko khush karna hai yaaraa
Code On….Late night ruk ja tu
Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Software Logo..
Krupaya thodi der ke liye kavita ka anand uthay...
Code Kya Kehta Hai Mera Kya Main Bataoon
Tester Samjhega Shayad Main Pagal Hoon
Code Kya Kehta Hai Mera Kya Main Bataoon
PM samjhega ki Shayad Main genius Hoon
Dil Karta Hai Apni Seat par khada ho Jaoon
Chilla Chilla Ke Main Ye Sabse Kehdoon
Code On… Hai Ye Client Ka Ishaara
Code On… Requirement fullfill kar sara
Code On….Onsite Offshore ka tamashaa
Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Dil Karta Hai VNET Par Zor Se Gaoon
Aur Apne outlook Ki sab log mail Kholen
Phir Main Aise Josheelay mails bahaaoon
Mere mails Ko padkar Sab Ye samjhen
Code On… Hai Ye Company Ka Ishaara
Code On… Client ko khush karna hai yaaraa
Code On….Late night ruk ja tu
Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Jaise Code karne Ko Dil Chahe code kar Waise Tu
Meri To Hai Bas Ye Raaye Ki
Apne task ko time par Poora Karle Tuuuuuu
Code On… development cycle ka ishara
Code On… phases fullfill kar sara
Code On….dead lines meet karne ka tension
Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Code On… Hai Ye Company Ka Ishaara
Code On… Client ko khush karna hai yaaraa
Code On….Late night ruk ja tu
Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Think the Answers
Hello All,
These are the questions for you..
think the answers...
you can post them as comments..
Humerous comments are most welcome
1) Juli, Augustus
The Question: Where can you find August before July?
2)Growing Water-Lily
In the middle of a round pool lies a beautiful water-lily. The water-lily doubles in size every day. After exactly 20 days the complete pool will be covered by the lily.
The Question: After how many days will half of the pool be covered by the water-lily?
3)Guess What
Martin has one of the numbers 1, 2, or 3 in mind. Sophie is allowed to ask one question to Martin to find out which of these three numbers he has in mind. Martin will answer this question only with the answers "yes", "no", or "I don't know".
The Question: Which question should Sophie ask Martin to find out in one time which number he has in mind?
I am going to post the answers in few days
These are the questions for you..
think the answers...
you can post them as comments..
Humerous comments are most welcome
1) Juli, Augustus
The Question: Where can you find August before July?
2)Growing Water-Lily
In the middle of a round pool lies a beautiful water-lily. The water-lily doubles in size every day. After exactly 20 days the complete pool will be covered by the lily.
The Question: After how many days will half of the pool be covered by the water-lily?
3)Guess What
Martin has one of the numbers 1, 2, or 3 in mind. Sophie is allowed to ask one question to Martin to find out which of these three numbers he has in mind. Martin will answer this question only with the answers "yes", "no", or "I don't know".
The Question: Which question should Sophie ask Martin to find out in one time which number he has in mind?
I am going to post the answers in few days
Thursday, August 21, 2008
A few hard questions with easy answers
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and fourapples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant withone hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank ) Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for awhile and said,"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on thecorrectness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's theDAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
He was selected for IIM!
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and fourapples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant withone hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank ) Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for awhile and said,"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on thecorrectness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's theDAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
He was selected for IIM!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Joke Of The Day
1)
Jokes Today
1) "Practice makes man perfect".
But nobody is perfect.
So why practice...?
2) "Money is not everything".
But there are VISA & MASTERCARD.
3) "Hardwork never killed anybody".
But why take risk !!!!!
2)A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.
Nahh" said the bloke,
"I'm just a really bad conductor"
Jokes Today
1) "Practice makes man perfect".
But nobody is perfect.
So why practice...?
2) "Money is not everything".
But there are VISA & MASTERCARD.
3) "Hardwork never killed anybody".
But why take risk !!!!!
2)A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.
Nahh" said the bloke,
"I'm just a really bad conductor"
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Funny Avtars and some more Jokes
1)Free Avatars
CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
Santa was flying to Chandigarh from Pune. He was allotted a middle seat but decided to take the window seat instead, which had been allotted to an old lady.
The lady requested Santa to exchange the seats and let her sit on the seat allotted to her. He refused, saying, 'I want to see the view from the window.' The old lady complained to the air hostess who requested Santa to sit on his allotted middle seat. Santa was adamant and bluntly refused.
The air hostess went up to the co-pilot. He too came and requested Santa, but in vain.
Finally, the captain of the aircraft came. He whispered something in Santa's ears. Santa immediately vacated the window seat and took the middle seat.
Astonished, the air hostess and the co-pilot asked the captain what he had said to Santa. The captain replied: 'Nothing, I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others were going to Jalandhar.'
CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
Santa was flying to Chandigarh from Pune. He was allotted a middle seat but decided to take the window seat instead, which had been allotted to an old lady.
The lady requested Santa to exchange the seats and let her sit on the seat allotted to her. He refused, saying, 'I want to see the view from the window.' The old lady complained to the air hostess who requested Santa to sit on his allotted middle seat. Santa was adamant and bluntly refused.
The air hostess went up to the co-pilot. He too came and requested Santa, but in vain.
Finally, the captain of the aircraft came. He whispered something in Santa's ears. Santa immediately vacated the window seat and took the middle seat.
Astonished, the air hostess and the co-pilot asked the captain what he had said to Santa. The captain replied: 'Nothing, I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others were going to Jalandhar.'
Friday, July 11, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Enjoy the Games
1)Cool Maths Games
2)Fit the brains
3)
2)Fit the brains
3)
|
|
|
| Add Games to your own site | |
Friday, May 16, 2008
Just Jiggles
Some New Jokes
i)
There was a student who was desirous of taking
admission for the IIM course. He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GD and was to appear for the personal interview.
Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy "Tell me your choice," he said to the boy "What's your choice? I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult one. Think well before you make up your mind!"
The boy thought for a while and said my choice is ONE real difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you ,you have made your own choice!" said the man on the opposite side. "Now tell me this. What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How?????????" the interviewer was smiling at last. "I got you" he said to himself.
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
And the admission for the course was thus secured:)
ii)
Amitabh Bachchan is questioning a guy on Kaun Banega Crorepati.
Amitabh: "Meri company ka naam kya hain?" Options : A: Infosys, B: Wipro, C: ABCL, D: Hindustan Lever.
Participant: "ABCL"
Amitabh: "Sure?"
Participant: "Sure."
Amitabh: "Confident?"
Participant: "Yes confident."
Amitabh: "Computerji 'ABCL' ko tala laga do."
Computer: "Abe gadhe ABCL ko 2 saal se tala laga hua hai!"
.....................................................................................
1)NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.
Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going."A million dollars", he answered, "because I wish to donate it to M.I.T."The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.He asked for two million dollars. "I wish to give a million to my family, he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."The last applicant was a Indian politician (Lallu Yadav). When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars.""Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.The IndianPolitician replied, $1 million is for you, I'll keep $1million, and we'll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars."
2)A Bihari hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a napunder one of the trees,
so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats wereg one.He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sits down and thinks of how he can getthehats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment,the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, themonkeysdid exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threwit onthe floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to getall hishats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, also became a hat-seller andhadheard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he tookanap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.
He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grand father's words, started scratching hisheadand the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself andagainthe monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea,Laloothrew his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still heldon toall the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the haton thefloor, gave him a slap and said.......................
"##,You think only you have a grandfather?
3)
NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine.However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.Finally, there was an Indian scientist who offered to help. The NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything."Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right" said the Indian scientist. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway."Bring it back to vertical position" the Indian said. The engineers did."Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space!Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied - "It is very simple. This is what we always do with our scooters in India".
4)Some More
i)
There was a student who was desirous of taking
admission for the IIM course. He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GD and was to appear for the personal interview.
Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy "Tell me your choice," he said to the boy "What's your choice? I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult one. Think well before you make up your mind!"
The boy thought for a while and said my choice is ONE real difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you ,you have made your own choice!" said the man on the opposite side. "Now tell me this. What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How?????????" the interviewer was smiling at last. "I got you" he said to himself.
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
And the admission for the course was thus secured:)
ii)
Amitabh Bachchan is questioning a guy on Kaun Banega Crorepati.
Amitabh: "Meri company ka naam kya hain?" Options : A: Infosys, B: Wipro, C: ABCL, D: Hindustan Lever.
Participant: "ABCL"
Amitabh: "Sure?"
Participant: "Sure."
Amitabh: "Confident?"
Participant: "Yes confident."
Amitabh: "Computerji 'ABCL' ko tala laga do."
Computer: "Abe gadhe ABCL ko 2 saal se tala laga hua hai!"
.....................................................................................
1)NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.
Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going."A million dollars", he answered, "because I wish to donate it to M.I.T."The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.He asked for two million dollars. "I wish to give a million to my family, he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."The last applicant was a Indian politician (Lallu Yadav). When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars.""Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.The IndianPolitician replied, $1 million is for you, I'll keep $1million, and we'll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars."
2)A Bihari hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a napunder one of the trees,
so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats wereg one.He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sits down and thinks of how he can getthehats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment,the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, themonkeysdid exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threwit onthe floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to getall hishats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, also became a hat-seller andhadheard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he tookanap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.
He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grand father's words, started scratching hisheadand the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself andagainthe monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea,Laloothrew his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still heldon toall the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the haton thefloor, gave him a slap and said.......................
"##,You think only you have a grandfather?
3)
NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine.However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.Finally, there was an Indian scientist who offered to help. The NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything."Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right" said the Indian scientist. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway."Bring it back to vertical position" the Indian said. The engineers did."Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space!Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied - "It is very simple. This is what we always do with our scooters in India".
4)Some More
Monday, May 12, 2008
Santa-Banta Jokes
Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.. He got irritated...
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye..
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A:
Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.. He got irritated...
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye..
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A:
Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Yeh Duniya agar mil bhi jayaye to kya hai
"Yeh Duniya agar mil bhi jayaye to kya hai...")
YEH DOCUMENT, YEH MEETINGS,
YEH FEATURES KI DUNIYA YEH INSAAN KE DUSHMAN, CURSORS KI DUNIYAYEH DEADLINES KE BHOOKE, MANAGEMENT KI DUNIYA
YEH PRODUCT AGAR BAN BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
YAHAAN EK KHILONA HAI PROGRAMMER KI HASTIYEH BASTI HAI MURDA BUG-FIXERS KI BASTI
YAHAAN PAR TO RAISES HAI, INFLATION SE SASTI
YEH REVIEW AGAR HO BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
HAR EK KEYBOARD GHAYAL, HAR EK LOGIN PYAASIEXCEL MEIN ULJHAN, WINWORD MEIN UDAASI
YEH OFFICE HAI YA AALAME MICROSOFT KIYEH RELEASE AGAR HO BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
JALAA DO ISE, PHOONK DO YEH MONITORMERE SAAMNE SE HATAA DO YEH MODEM TUMAHAARA HAI TUMHI SAMBHAALO YE COMPUTER
YEH PRODUCT AGAR CHAL BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
YEH DOCUMENT, YEH MEETINGS,
YEH FEATURES KI DUNIYA YEH INSAAN KE DUSHMAN, CURSORS KI DUNIYAYEH DEADLINES KE BHOOKE, MANAGEMENT KI DUNIYA
YEH PRODUCT AGAR BAN BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
YAHAAN EK KHILONA HAI PROGRAMMER KI HASTIYEH BASTI HAI MURDA BUG-FIXERS KI BASTI
YAHAAN PAR TO RAISES HAI, INFLATION SE SASTI
YEH REVIEW AGAR HO BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
HAR EK KEYBOARD GHAYAL, HAR EK LOGIN PYAASIEXCEL MEIN ULJHAN, WINWORD MEIN UDAASI
YEH OFFICE HAI YA AALAME MICROSOFT KIYEH RELEASE AGAR HO BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
JALAA DO ISE, PHOONK DO YEH MONITORMERE SAAMNE SE HATAA DO YEH MODEM TUMAHAARA HAI TUMHI SAMBHAALO YE COMPUTER
YEH PRODUCT AGAR CHAL BHI JAAYE TO KYA HAI?
Regional Tadka
Hindi:
He : Aye kya bolti tu?
She: Aye kya main bolun?
He : Sun
She: Suna
He : Aati kya Khandala?
She: Kya karun aakey main khandala?
He : Ghumenge, phirenge, naachenge, gayenge. aaish karenge aur
kya?
Kashmiri:
H: heey, kya chaakh wannan;
S: heev, kya bhe wanneyyyy;
H: booz;
S: wanoo;
H: pakha telle khandala;
S: kya karee weeteth bhe khandala;
H: pherevhey,nachevhey,geevevhey,khevevhey,eesh karav,beyy kya??
Bengali:
H: ei ki bolis tui;
S: ei ki ar boli;
H: son;
S: sona;
H: jabi ki khandala??
S: ki kori giye khandala;
H: are, ghurbo phirbo nachbo gaibo maja korbo ar ki;
Marathi:
H: Aye kay tu mhantes?;
S: aye kay me mhanhu?
H: aik;
S: aikav;
H: yetes ka khandala?;
S: kay karu yevon me khandala?;
H: bhatkuya, phiruya, gavuya, nachuya, aish karuya. aankhen kay?
Telugu:
H: Aye,yemantaavu?
S: Aye, Yem cheppaali?
H: Vinu,
S: Cheppu;
H: Vastaava Khandala??
S: Yem Cheddam velli manam Khandala?
H: Thirugudaam, Aadudhaam, Paadudaam, Ganthulu Yeddaam Inkemi?
Punjabi:
H: a ke boldi tu;
S: a ke mein bolan;
H: sunh;
S: sunha;
H: aande aein khandala;
S: ke karain ae ke mein khandala;
Kannada:
H: Aye, Yenanti Nee?
S: Aye, Naanu Yenu Anali?
H: Kelu,
S: Helu;
H: Barteeya Khandala?
S: Yenu Maadali Naa bandu Khandala?
H: Thirugona, Kuniyona, Hadona, Aadona, Majaa Madona... Innenu?
Sindhi:
H: Aye cha ti chaven?
S: aye cha maan chavan?
H: budh;
S: buhay;
H: achiti cha khandala?
S: cha kayan achi maan khandala?
H: ghumandasi, phirandasi, gayendasi, aaish kandasi, byo cha?
Gujarati:
H: Aye su bole tu?
S: aye hun su bolu?
H: sambhad;
S: sambhdav
H: aavechey ke khandala?
S: su karu aavene khandala?
H: ghumsu, pharsu, khavsu,peevsu, aaish karsu. beeju su?
Magahi (BIHARI):
H: A ki bolahin too,
S: A kya boliyuow hum,
H: Sun
S: sunaow
H: Aaimahi ki khandala;
S: Ki kariaow aake hum khandala;
H: Gumbai Phirbai aish karbai aur ki,
He : Aye kya bolti tu?
She: Aye kya main bolun?
He : Sun
She: Suna
He : Aati kya Khandala?
She: Kya karun aakey main khandala?
He : Ghumenge, phirenge, naachenge, gayenge. aaish karenge aur
kya?
Kashmiri:
H: heey, kya chaakh wannan;
S: heev, kya bhe wanneyyyy;
H: booz;
S: wanoo;
H: pakha telle khandala;
S: kya karee weeteth bhe khandala;
H: pherevhey,nachevhey,geevevhey,khevevhey,eesh karav,beyy kya??
Bengali:
H: ei ki bolis tui;
S: ei ki ar boli;
H: son;
S: sona;
H: jabi ki khandala??
S: ki kori giye khandala;
H: are, ghurbo phirbo nachbo gaibo maja korbo ar ki;
Marathi:
H: Aye kay tu mhantes?;
S: aye kay me mhanhu?
H: aik;
S: aikav;
H: yetes ka khandala?;
S: kay karu yevon me khandala?;
H: bhatkuya, phiruya, gavuya, nachuya, aish karuya. aankhen kay?
Telugu:
H: Aye,yemantaavu?
S: Aye, Yem cheppaali?
H: Vinu,
S: Cheppu;
H: Vastaava Khandala??
S: Yem Cheddam velli manam Khandala?
H: Thirugudaam, Aadudhaam, Paadudaam, Ganthulu Yeddaam Inkemi?
Punjabi:
H: a ke boldi tu;
S: a ke mein bolan;
H: sunh;
S: sunha;
H: aande aein khandala;
S: ke karain ae ke mein khandala;
Kannada:
H: Aye, Yenanti Nee?
S: Aye, Naanu Yenu Anali?
H: Kelu,
S: Helu;
H: Barteeya Khandala?
S: Yenu Maadali Naa bandu Khandala?
H: Thirugona, Kuniyona, Hadona, Aadona, Majaa Madona... Innenu?
Sindhi:
H: Aye cha ti chaven?
S: aye cha maan chavan?
H: budh;
S: buhay;
H: achiti cha khandala?
S: cha kayan achi maan khandala?
H: ghumandasi, phirandasi, gayendasi, aaish kandasi, byo cha?
Gujarati:
H: Aye su bole tu?
S: aye hun su bolu?
H: sambhad;
S: sambhdav
H: aavechey ke khandala?
S: su karu aavene khandala?
H: ghumsu, pharsu, khavsu,peevsu, aaish karsu. beeju su?
Magahi (BIHARI):
H: A ki bolahin too,
S: A kya boliyuow hum,
H: Sun
S: sunaow
H: Aaimahi ki khandala;
S: Ki kariaow aake hum khandala;
H: Gumbai Phirbai aish karbai aur ki,
Jokes Collection
Bill Gates Jokes
=================================================
If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit;
these could be the caption in Newspapers:
* Bill goes Dhak-Dhak!
* English Babu Desi Mem.
* Brain marries Beauty!?
* Windows ke peechhe kya hai? Windows ke peechhe....!? Ooo Windows mein Bill hai meraThe *next version of Windows will be "Windows MD."* Microsoft Mouse V/S Madhuri - the cat.* *Relax guys! they'll only go for a virtual honeymoon.
* Bill to count his millions & billions in EK, DO, TEEN..
* Gate for Bill, Windows for M.F.Hussain* Mera Bill ghar aaya O Hussainji, Mera...
* Mera bill bhee kitna pagal hai...* Bill Will, Gates Wates... Main kya jaanu re... !
Laloo Jokes
=================================================
* Laloo Prasad was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very ineficient," he stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"
* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ? La loo
* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
* Laloos family planning policy.."Don't have more than two children in one year"
* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"
* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"
* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?" "Marriage"
* Laloo returns from a US tour. As he completes his press conference and is about to leave, he goes, "I would like to thank the president of the United States from the bottom of my heart and my wife's bottom too"/
=================================================
Sardar Jokes
Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering twobeers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their sandwiches.
=================================================
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a openmouth.........WHY?Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner shouldbe light".
=================================================
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. Hewas not sure asto what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".After much thought hewrote : Yes!
=================================================
One Person knock the door of Banta on 12 th floor,Banta open the doorthe man was crying and said - Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed,Sardar jumps from 12th floor. At 8th floor heremembers I don't have adaughter!At 5th floor he remembered I'm unmarried! At 3rd floorremembered I'mBanta not Santa
=================================================
A teacher told all students in a class to write anessay on a cricketmatch. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. Hewrote "DUE TO RAIN,NO MATCH!"
=================================================
Postman:- I have to come 5 miles to deliver you thispacket.Sardar:- why did u come so far? Instead u could haveposted it....
=================================================
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?He will compare it with the original for any spellingmistakes.
=================================================
Sardar proposed a girl......Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elderto you'. Sardarsaid: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you nextyear.
=================================================
Why can't sardars dial nine-eleven (911) at emergency?Becoz, theycan'tfind the eleven on the phone.
=================================================
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.Judge asked:How'll you divide, you've 3 children? Sardar replied:Ok! We"ll applynext year.
=================================================
A man asked Sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walkingat evening not inthe morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan isPM not AM''.
=================================================
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with hiseyes closed. Hiswife asked: what you are doing? He said: I want to seehow i look whilesleeping.
=================================================
A sardar was very fond of sensational and detectivenovels,but he always started reading from the middle. A friend of his askedwhy he did so? "It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar."to start fromthe middle keeps one curious not only about itsconclusion but alsoabout its beginning.
=================================================
If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit;
these could be the caption in Newspapers:
* Bill goes Dhak-Dhak!
* English Babu Desi Mem.
* Brain marries Beauty!?
* Windows ke peechhe kya hai? Windows ke peechhe....!? Ooo Windows mein Bill hai meraThe *next version of Windows will be "Windows MD."* Microsoft Mouse V/S Madhuri - the cat.* *Relax guys! they'll only go for a virtual honeymoon.
* Bill to count his millions & billions in EK, DO, TEEN..
* Gate for Bill, Windows for M.F.Hussain* Mera Bill ghar aaya O Hussainji, Mera...
* Mera bill bhee kitna pagal hai...* Bill Will, Gates Wates... Main kya jaanu re... !
Laloo Jokes
=================================================
* Laloo Prasad was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very ineficient," he stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"
* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ? La loo
* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
* Laloos family planning policy.."Don't have more than two children in one year"
* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"
* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"
* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?" "Marriage"
* Laloo returns from a US tour. As he completes his press conference and is about to leave, he goes, "I would like to thank the president of the United States from the bottom of my heart and my wife's bottom too"/
=================================================
Sardar Jokes
Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering twobeers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their sandwiches.
=================================================
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a openmouth.........WHY?Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner shouldbe light".
=================================================
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. Hewas not sure asto what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".After much thought hewrote : Yes!
=================================================
One Person knock the door of Banta on 12 th floor,Banta open the doorthe man was crying and said - Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed,Sardar jumps from 12th floor. At 8th floor heremembers I don't have adaughter!At 5th floor he remembered I'm unmarried! At 3rd floorremembered I'mBanta not Santa
=================================================
A teacher told all students in a class to write anessay on a cricketmatch. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. Hewrote "DUE TO RAIN,NO MATCH!"
=================================================
Postman:- I have to come 5 miles to deliver you thispacket.Sardar:- why did u come so far? Instead u could haveposted it....
=================================================
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?He will compare it with the original for any spellingmistakes.
=================================================
Sardar proposed a girl......Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elderto you'. Sardarsaid: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you nextyear.
=================================================
Why can't sardars dial nine-eleven (911) at emergency?Becoz, theycan'tfind the eleven on the phone.
=================================================
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.Judge asked:How'll you divide, you've 3 children? Sardar replied:Ok! We"ll applynext year.
=================================================
A man asked Sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walkingat evening not inthe morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan isPM not AM''.
=================================================
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with hiseyes closed. Hiswife asked: what you are doing? He said: I want to seehow i look whilesleeping.
=================================================
A sardar was very fond of sensational and detectivenovels,but he always started reading from the middle. A friend of his askedwhy he did so? "It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar."to start fromthe middle keeps one curious not only about itsconclusion but alsoabout its beginning.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
