SHOLAY
Kitne bugs the, Sambha??
Chal Dhanno!!! Aaj Basanti ke appraisal ka sawaal hai!!
Hum angrezo ke zamane ke tester hain!!!
Ye software nahin, phasi ka phanda hain, developer… !!!
Jo jaldi gaya ..samjho mar gaya !!
Gabbar se keh do…..Ramgad walon ne software develop karna band kar diya
hai……… ……..
Release kab hai….kab hai release?? >
Yeh chutti hamein de de PM………. nay nay……..
Sambha, Kitna PM, PL rakkha hai re HR hamare upar ??
Door kisi cubicle mein jab developer bura code likhta hai toh PL kehta hai :
Bete code sudhar, nahi to tester aa jayega….
Aur tum 3….. Gabbar ka software hack kar ke aa gaye…….. ..
Tumhara designation kya hai, software engineer?
Testers se keh do….wo log 2 bugs karenge toh hum 4 fix karenge….. .
3 developer aur module 6………buhut nainsafi hai!!!
Sardar, maine aapka module develop kiya hai……..
Ab test kar……… …..
Ke, yoonke, dekhne wali baat toh yeh hai, mujhe increment kab milega
…….?
DEEWAR
Aaj tak maine tumse kucch nahi maanga…lekin aaj maangta hoon…….mujhe
us babe ke cubicle mein shift kara de………
Bug mil Gaya , bhaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!
PM to floor cleaning guy: Mere pas bangla hai, gaadi hai, paisa hai,
Laptop hai, Nokia blackberry hai, mera apna cabin hai, tumhare pass kya hai
……?
Cleaning guy: Mere pas time hai.
Abdul chacha, Yeh hai cubicle number 786……… ……… .
Pehle un logon ke dastakhat leke aao jinhenone mere haat pe ye likh diya :
Mera software bore hai!
Dawar sahab, main aaj bhi pheke hue pen drive nahi
uthata…… ……… ………
PM, tum mujhe conference room mein dhoond rahe ho aur mein tumhara yahan
cubicle mein intezar kar raha hoon……!
DON
Don on bench hai to kya hua……..fir bhi Don hai……… …
Don ko jungli software pasand hai….khatarnak aur bugs se bhara
hua……… ….
“tumne ise kyon mara, don ?
?Mujhe iske software ka GUI pasand nahi aaya ! “
“DSP sahab is bag ke andar itne CDs hai ki aapne puri zindagi mein nahi
dekhi hongi……. …..
Arre CEO… mujhe pehechano… ………
Don ka intazar tou 11 companies ke HR kar rahe hai…. par EK baat samaj lo
DON ko retain karna muskil hi nahi namumkin hai…..
Kisi bhi company ki diware itni majboot nahi jo DON ko retain kar sake….
DON ko woh company bilkul pasand nahi hai jo kaam karaye
AUR
Doosri jo paise kam de….
DON ko do type ki companies bilkul pasand nahin
EK jo Recruit karne main bhaut der kare
Aur Doosri wo jo Fauran (Immediate) Recruit kar le.
DON ke PM ki sabse badi galti ye hai… ki woh DON ka PM hai…!!!!!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Filmy Jokes
अक्षय कुमार की पत्नी मायके गई हुई थी. मौका अच्छा देखकर अक्षय अपनी पुरानी प्रेमिका को घर ले आये. नौकर ने उन्हें प्रेमिका के साथ देख लिया.
अक्षय ने नौकर को बुलाया और पचास रुपये देते हुए बोलेः यह लो पचास रुपए और मेमसाहब को मेरी प्रेमिका के बारे में कुछ भी न बताना.
नौकर बोलाः साहब, पचास रुपए तो कम हैं. मेमसाहब तो ऐसे काम के कम से कम सौ रुपए देती है.
******
शाहरुख खान का बेटाः मम्मी घर में आई उस हीरोइन का नाम क्या डार्लिंग है.
शाहरुख की पत्नीः नहीं तो, वह तो जूही आंटी है.
बेटाः फिर जब आप किचन में थी तो डैडी उसे डार्लिंग क्यों कह रहे थे.
अक्षय ने नौकर को बुलाया और पचास रुपये देते हुए बोलेः यह लो पचास रुपए और मेमसाहब को मेरी प्रेमिका के बारे में कुछ भी न बताना.
नौकर बोलाः साहब, पचास रुपए तो कम हैं. मेमसाहब तो ऐसे काम के कम से कम सौ रुपए देती है.
******
शाहरुख खान का बेटाः मम्मी घर में आई उस हीरोइन का नाम क्या डार्लिंग है.
शाहरुख की पत्नीः नहीं तो, वह तो जूही आंटी है.
बेटाः फिर जब आप किचन में थी तो डैडी उसे डार्लिंग क्यों कह रहे थे.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Enjoy Learning The Dance
When you dance with heart. You will feel the ultimate Joy.So Let's Dance
Live for Today
Plan for Tomarrow
Party tonight
and find more steps @ http://www.partydirectory.com/dance/
Line Dance:
Alley Cat
Toe Touches To The Side
1. Touch the right toe to the right side
2. Touch the right toe next to the LF
3. Touch the right toe to the right side
4. Step next to the LF with the RF
5. Touch the left toe to the left side
6. Touch the left toe next to the RF
7. Touch the left toe to the left side
8. Step next to the RF with the LF
Toe Touches To The Back
1. Touch the right toe to the right back corner
2. Touch the right toe next to the LF
3. Touch the right toe to the right back corner
4. Step next to the LF with the RF
5. Touch the left toe to the left back corner
6. Touch the left toe next to the RF
7. Touch the left toe to the left back corner
8. Step next to the RF with the LF
Raise The Knees
1. Raise the right knee
2. Touch the right toe next to the LF
3. Raise the right knee
4. Step next to the LF with the RF
5. Raise the left knee
6. Touch the left toe next to the RF
7. Raise the left knee
8. Step next to the RF with the LF
Raise The Knees And Turn
1. Raise the right knee
2. Step next to the LF with the RF
3. Raise the left knee
4. Step next to the RF with the LF
5. Clap the hands together
6. Hold
7. Turn to the right
8. Hold
Abbreviations:
RF Right Foot
LF Left Foot
Each number represents a beat of music
Live for Today
Plan for Tomarrow
Party tonight
and find more steps @ http://www.partydirectory.com/dance/
Line Dance:
Alley Cat
Toe Touches To The Side
1. Touch the right toe to the right side
2. Touch the right toe next to the LF
3. Touch the right toe to the right side
4. Step next to the LF with the RF
5. Touch the left toe to the left side
6. Touch the left toe next to the RF
7. Touch the left toe to the left side
8. Step next to the RF with the LF
Toe Touches To The Back
1. Touch the right toe to the right back corner
2. Touch the right toe next to the LF
3. Touch the right toe to the right back corner
4. Step next to the LF with the RF
5. Touch the left toe to the left back corner
6. Touch the left toe next to the RF
7. Touch the left toe to the left back corner
8. Step next to the RF with the LF
Raise The Knees
1. Raise the right knee
2. Touch the right toe next to the LF
3. Raise the right knee
4. Step next to the LF with the RF
5. Raise the left knee
6. Touch the left toe next to the RF
7. Raise the left knee
8. Step next to the RF with the LF
Raise The Knees And Turn
1. Raise the right knee
2. Step next to the LF with the RF
3. Raise the left knee
4. Step next to the RF with the LF
5. Clap the hands together
6. Hold
7. Turn to the right
8. Hold
Abbreviations:
RF Right Foot
LF Left Foot
Each number represents a beat of music
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Girls profiles taken from shaadi.com and some more..
1)
Ultimate…. ……… ….I bet u can’t stop laughing.
These are Girls profiles taken from shaadi . com These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and
spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail…
__________________
Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my
home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore.. if u like me u welcome to my heart…
when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or
send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya
__________________
I want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Wut Homework?)
__________________
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a
first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.
Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ……..hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
__________________
I am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me
and love me lot lot lot
(I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)
__________________
I want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast
(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell…)
__________________
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY
,THEY ARE
1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY
TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing {laughing})
__________________
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
__________________
I love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate
ok
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering from “Ok-syndrome”)
__________________
I am pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married ‘completely’ ?)
__________________
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(height of desperation! J )
__________________
iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)
__________________
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good’.
i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted …
(but credit cards not accepted..?? ?)
__________________
I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.
(Zebra..???)
__________________
2)
Don’t marry software girl
Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U.
Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a UNIX girl, she always dump u with a core.
Never marry a PASCAL girl, she always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.
Better marry a girl NOT belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY
MARRY A GIRL FROM A “HARD”WARE FAMILY, THEN………
and.........
some more jokes on http://worldoftimepass.com/general/dont-marry-software-girl/
Ultimate…. ……… ….I bet u can’t stop laughing.
These are Girls profiles taken from shaadi . com These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and
spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail…
__________________
Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my
home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore.. if u like me u welcome to my heart…
when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or
send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya
__________________
I want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Wut Homework?)
__________________
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a
first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.
Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ……..hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
__________________
I am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me
and love me lot lot lot
(I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)
__________________
I want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast
(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell…)
__________________
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY
,THEY ARE
1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY
TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing {laughing})
__________________
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
__________________
I love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate
ok
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering from “Ok-syndrome”)
__________________
I am pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married ‘completely’ ?)
__________________
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(height of desperation! J )
__________________
iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)
__________________
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good’.
i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted …
(but credit cards not accepted..?? ?)
__________________
I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.
(Zebra..???)
__________________
2)
Don’t marry software girl
Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U.
Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a UNIX girl, she always dump u with a core.
Never marry a PASCAL girl, she always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.
Better marry a girl NOT belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY
MARRY A GIRL FROM A “HARD”WARE FAMILY, THEN………
and.........
some more jokes on http://worldoftimepass.com/general/dont-marry-software-girl/
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